The title of this blog is probably super confusing for anyone who sees my daily Facebook feed. I can only imagine the eye rolls when people see "yet another anti-50 Shades post...." but I decided a long time ago I wouldn't waste my Facebook page. No matter how blind people choose to be, I'm going to do what I can to put it in their face and hope maybe someday they will get it.
But that's a post for another day. Today, though, I want to tell you why I want to see 50 Shades of Grey. Because guess what? I do.
I have spent a lot of time hating on 50 Shades. A lot of time. It makes me so frustrated when I see other people talking about it and how they can't wait to see it. Don't they know how awful this filth is?! Today, however, I changed my thought process a little bit. I have read a million articles about why you SHOULDN'T watch 50 Shades of Grey but I still have had a hard time understanding WHY people want to watch the movie. Then it hit me...
I have read 50 Shades of Grey and every time I see the 50 Shades commercial, a part of me aches to see the movie. Why, though? As much as I hate it and know how wrong it is, why would I want to watch it? Why do MILLIONS of women want to watch it?
1. We bought into the lies that society says about sex.
Many people know of my struggle with pornography, but it goes much deeper than even just that. If you want to know more about that story, here's the link. Basically, I was introduced at a very young age and in an abusive way to the world of porn and that shaped the way I viewed sex from early on. I have always equated sex with love and always thought that what I would do with a man made me more of a woman. There was something about Ana Steele that I envied. Christian Grey was so devoted to her...I see now dysfunctionally devoted. Ana Steele is kind of the poster woman for girls everywhere who think sex is the way into a man's heart.
2. It gives us the tingles.
Sorry. But it's true. E.L. James knew exactly what she was doing when she wrote these books. She knew that women everywhere would be closing their eyes and imagining Christian Grey doing these things to them like he was to Ana. I know I'm a recovering porn addict, but you don't have to be addicted to porn to get completely tied in knots reading these books. I would go out on a limb and suggest that if women were truly honest with themselves, this is probably the biggest reason women love 50 Shades.
3. Secretly, we want to be dominated.
The whole feminist movement is a bunch of crap because millions of women are going to flock to the theaters this weekend to watch a movie about a man who tells a girl what to eat, how to dress, where to put her hands, where to go, etc. And they are going to eat it all up. Secretly, I think every woman (at least, women who have at some point bought the lies 50 Shades sells) wants that, In our dysfunctional minds, there is something sexy about "obeying" "or else".
4. We want to fix Christian Grey.
Many women (maybe men too but I'm not a man so I can only speak for women) want to fix that bad boy. We want to be the one that helps get his life together and helps him heal. As for myself, I found myself loving so much how Ana in a way "tamed" him in the end. Then it made me think back to all the pain and heartache I went thru as a younger woman going thru terribly toxic relationships all for the sake of saving that person and being that person's all.
I needed that clarity. I needed to say why I wanted to see 50 Shades of Grey and I needed to understand why other women want to too. Now let me tell you why I, personally, am not going to go see this movie.
1. 50 Shades of Grey is pornography.
It doesn't matter if you are for or against the books/movie, it has been labeled by secular authors and critics everywhere as mommy porn. So I plan to treat it as such. Just like I harm my marriage and my heart when I go online to watch pornography, it would be just as harmful to see this movie. Porn is wrong. Plain and simple. And that's another reason why you should check out my blog if you don't agree with that statement. Porn is all about the "yes". Porn is all about selfish pleasure. That's what these books are filled with. Nothing realistic or "good" whatsoever.
2. 50 Shades is glorified abuse.
As someone who went thru sexual abuse and who knows many people who have had to endure abuse in their lives, these books are nothing short of insulting. Ya know what, what people want to do in the bedroom is their own thing. Whatever. But when Hollywood takes a story of a man (hurting people hurt people...) who is stuck in the cycle of abuse and plans to make millions, I have a problem with that. I also have a problem with the fact that people don't seem to see that. We live in a very "me-centered" society and like to think nothing of how something will affect us or others in the long run. And that's not okay.
3. I am worth more than what 50 Shades says I am.
I am not what I will do with my body. I am not a "yes, sir; no, sir" play thing. I am a child of God. I am a wife. I am a mom. I strive everyday to be the best I can be for myself and for Jesus and for my husband. It has taken years and years to get to the point where I now know how dysfunctional my views on sex and love have been and it will take probably years and years more to be able to move past them. But I know that 50 Shades says I'm NOT more. It says I AM what I will do with my body. So I refuse to take any part in that.
4. 50 Shades of Grey is not sex the way God designed it.
Now, I by no means think you have to be a Christian to be against this filth. Women who stand for anything and don't just think with what's between their legs should be infuriated by this garbage. But let me get Christian-y on you for this last point. Even putting aside that sex was designed for marriage and Ana and Christian are definitely not married (I mean they get married in the very end. Sorry. Spoiler?")...sex was created to honor and love and respect your spouse. Not shame and humiliate and scare your "sub" (Ana=submissive and is labeled "sub"). That's exactly what these books promote.
I by no means think I'm going to change anyone's minds on seeing 50 Shades of Grey. I think women are being far too stubborn and ignorant for their minds to be changed. If anything, I want everyone who is against 50 Shades to understand exactly why women are being sucked into the lies. Educate yourselves. Take a stand. Stand up for what is right, even if you are standing alone.
When I first saw the title of your post, I was alarmed and didn't read it. I thought to myself, "Surely Katie isn't thinking that she won't be affected by this!" I came back later, breathed a deep sigh, and started reading, and WOW, I have to say, this is a great post. The honesty is refreshing, and your arguments would be compelling, even if someone did not know some of the things you have been through. Good job.
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